2011...

...is when the next Dude-les comic will appear. Sad, I know, but there are duties that must be fulfilled (apparently) relating to the holidays. Translated, it means that for one brief month of the year we both have lives worth living, and therefore our note pads and drawing tablets gather a thin film of dust until they are shaken off next week. Until then, we bid you adieu, and we leave you with the inspiring story of an individual who proved once and for all that man is faster than frog:

peace and hair grease!

-p

Addendum

In case my explanation of the Spiderman fiasco was a little confusing, this Taiwan news report has generously offered to clarify the situation:

Merry Christmas!

-p

The 65 million dollar man

Remember that time that Julie Taymor made a spiderman musical? Remember the time it was the most expensive musical ever produced, beating the previous title-holder by roughly $40 MILLION!?!? Sounds awesome right? Well apparently not. From what I've read, the plot revolves around some greek goddess of spiders giving Spiderman powers and then getting mad at him and creating supervillains to fight him. riiiiiight.

Also Uncle Ben's death is apparently not important to the story. And the spider that bites Peter Parker gets its own song. And the show is narrated by a "Geek Chorus," a group of nerds who tell the story while arguing about comic-related minutia. Need I go on?

Regardless of the questionable content, the biggest hoy-paloy surrounding the show is undoubtedly the absurd amount of dangers that all of the performers are in every night when they perform it. Two actors were injured before the show went into previews, the actress playing Arachne (the evil greek goddess) got a concussion the first week of previews, and now this...

So now this guy is hospitalized with broken ribs and internal bleeding, and performances have been cancelled left and right in order to buy time to put some new safety measures in place. And this is a week or so after they anounced ANOTHER delay in order to bring Bono and The Edge back to re-write the shitty music they crapped out the first time they went to work. Add as the poop cherry on the placenta ice cream the fact that this show will cost $1 million a week to run and we have quite possibly the most troubled show ever created.

I want to see it! SOOO BAD!

Maybe because it could close immediately and if I don't see it right away I'll be SOL until high schools get the rights to perform it. =P Or maybe because I really like spiderman and I really like theater, and the fusion of the two is just too enticing to pass up! Even if it sucks, which I'm pretty sure it will. It can be amazing at alot of things (visuals, stunts, special effects) and still be a complete piece of shit musical.

I hear the guy who plays JJJ is good, so maybe that'll make it worth seeing... maybe....

Also no comic this week. Bry is nervous about some mystery job that he expects to hear from at 1:30AM. I dunno, I'm just repeating what I've made up based on a couple of cryptic IMs.

-p

Snow Day!

No comic tonight, though it's not due to snow. There's no snow involved as far as I know. I'll post some cool shit tomorrow, but until then, go see Black Swan. It's worth watching Natalie Portman's terrifying descent into madness in order to see her get it on with Mila Kunis. Well... it's ALMOST worth the absolute batshit insanity that ensues...

-phil

28

Deep fried chicken now

_bryan

The fine and fancy Forties

Damn advertisements are 300% louder than the show that's on.  What is the point.
And yeah, Duncan has chest abs he works out that much.
_Bryan

13 multiplied by 2

Chicken fried steak homie
_Bryan

Dude I hate that shit. It's so gross. In other news, wikileaks sucks. discuss.

The Answer:

They don't.

While preparing various tuber roots for mashed potatoes, yams, and taro, I cut my finger. Then Phil reminded me the comic wasn't done and forced me to hand draw this at gunpoint. With my bad hand.

_Bryan

jk here's the comic

It's a little known fact that Bryan has two right hands. So even if one gets fucked up by a really scary butter knife *cough* his other hand is just as good. Hooray!

Btw it was recently our sixth month anniversary. Usually something to be excited about, but i'm beginning to get the feeling that nobody reads this comic, so there's nothing to celebrate until we make that happen.

-p

Do Asians Puke Soy Sauce?

I don't know. The B-ster is sick and booting up a storm though, so maybe he can tell us!

...

Nah, he's too sick.

So yeah, no comic. Instead, you get a rant and maybe a link if i can think of one before i finish writing this post. I also apologize for any bizarre spacebar-related typos. I recently broke my keyboard in a fit of Starcraft-induced rage. I'm not proud of it, and I definitely freaked my g/f out, but luckily my keyboard cost $15 so it's no great loss. I also just ordered a cooler, much more expensive keyboard a few days ago so it works out.

I've honestly never been so frustrated at my failures as a player as I have been when playing Starcraft. I like to get to a point where i can play a game at a fairly skilled level before I relax and play the game for pure enjoyment. Until then it's really just a struggle with the learning curve to get to that sweet spot. It took some weeks with CoD4, but the skills translated effortlessly to MW2 and will undoubtedly do the same for Black Ops. It took time with Super Street Fighter 4, but I spent some time messing around with Street Fighters 2,3, and 4 before it came out so i was able to play fairly decently by the time it was out. Now obviously I'm no pro at either, but I can play a decent came of either, particularly CoD, because that game is just pretty easy with all the perks and shit.

Starcraft 2, on the other hand, I've been playing since August. That's almost 4 months at this point, and I just can't seem to make any headway. I've definitely gotten better; I'm more comfortable with the mechanics and the way you need to think to play effectively, but i'm still stuck in the lowest league (and I was even demoted from the second lowest league, where i started). So it's not that I haven't learned anything about the game, it's that i haven't been able to translate that knowledge into any results. I've just now realized this rant is entirely self-indulgent and not interesting in the least. Oh well. here's a cool link to make everyone happy!

looks pretty sweet! enjoy! comics shall return next week, in which the disturbing family histories of our heroes return to haunt them... =O

-p

Let's try something new 26 times

How'd he attach that damn thing anyway? And Duncan definitely wasn't mistakenly drawn with two arms last week.
_Bryan

Yeah we can blame Superboy-Prime for that one. He's always retconning our shit. On Earth-7 this comic is in full color, but the characters are Muslim. Or something.

-Phil

herhheurhuhuahuhs

WOOOO
_Bryan

Why does it seem like my character is getting uglier? I know that the art style is constantly evolving, but those teeth the the third panel... I look like a homeless Ukranian!

-phil

Bartman

Bartman makes only one appearance in the Simpsons tv show. Also I work without the script in front of me so there's bound to be some deviations :(
_Bryan

What?? I slaved over a hot notebook all night to make that script! I can't trust your photographic memory to preserve every last intricacy of my four-panel long masterpieces!

-phil

catch 25

There seems to be a missing amazing line about engorged reproductive organs... hmmm

-p

Cabinet crushed fingers

Putting off the comic til tomorrow due to work related accidents. Bears don't get poked to death by themselves donchyaknow.

-b

Dude I crushed my penis in a cabinet this weekend and it didn't stop me from having 3 threesomes! that's a nine-some!

here's some sick Minecraft action to whet the proverbial appetite:

peace and hairgrease till tomorrow then.

-p

"I'm eating demon food because I'm half demon"

I feel like I opened my presents on christmas morning and they were all just piles of poop.

-phil

 It's like Santa couldn't be bothered to even give you coal.

_Bryan

Chumba Wumba is a gorilla

NBA JAM IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!
_Bryan

The day the earth stood still...

because there's no comic! whaaa? I know, right? It seems the guy who draws the comic (no clue who he is, I think he's from overseas or something) is gone for a wedding. Apparently this means his hands and fingers are paralyzed and he can't draw with them. Well whatever, we can get by just fine without him...

...

...okay I got nothing. Nothing comic related. But I DO Have this!

It's a video of how insane Korean people are at Starcraft. Anyone who thinks they are good at video games should watch this and learn the sad, sad truth. All Americans suck at video games. Don't believe me? FUCK YOU!

Nah I'm kidding. It's true you don't need to be this fast to be amazing, but it's pretty much the most intimidating thing i've ever seen.

more to come in the spider saga next week!

-phil

Yadda Yadda Yadda

Late due to schedule conflicts. Minecraft conflicts.
_Bryan

yeah that shit owns your life. I want to build a cave behind a lavafall. but I'm too busy getting owned by zombies... life is hard in Minecraftland...

-phil

BOOOM SHAKALAKA

So when Phil said that Brad would be afraid of spiders in this comic I said, "What a coincidence, so am I." Then he called me girly and laughed so hard at me that some of his spider cereal came out of his nose. I don't know why my parents insisted on watching the movie Arachnaphobia every night.

Now it's time for HALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

_Bryan

Halo Reach is a game I can't play. Therefore it sucks. Mmmmm I looooves me some Haterade!

-phil

So much text!
_Bryan

Well now that you've made this comic I'll take it as permission to make future installments as wordy and dialog heavy as possible. ;D

-phil

P.S. nice last minute rally on our parts, what with not having a comic until 3pm the day of.

The image captured here is from an infamous video of a man throwing puppies into a river..and they were on fire...and they were strapped to dynamite covered sharks....and the river was made of kittens....
Some filler art for the week.

Oh well

Dude your characters look so fat. Why does everyone have such well proportioned bodies?

-phil

Switcheroo, and Scrappy too!

So here's the first of what could be a series of comics in which Bryan writes and I attempt to illustrate. I've learned a few things in the past few days while working on the comic:

1) MS Paint is a finnicky bitch

2) Consistency is nigh impossible when using MS Paint

3) Cars are really hard to draw on MS Paint

What I believe will happen next week is a redo of last week's comic which was hard to read, and then maybe one more comic to wrap up this weird story, and then off into the wild blue yonder, where presumably more penis-related adventures will lie in wait.

-phil


We learned a lot with this escapade:
1. Phil should draw every comic
2. Duncan is Jewish
3. Phil can draw things besides wizards with unmentionables for hands

Also check out allancomic.com:
Happens way to much.

_Bryan

No comic yet...or now there is

But! But! There's something better!

...

Nah just kidding. Nothing is better than a new comic. There has been some talk of us performing a switcheroo, where I draw the comic and Bryan writes. I'm not sure if there's any more juice to be squeezed out of this current story, though I suspect there's at least one more. Then after that there can be a switcheroo, in which much MSPaint is used.

I just finished building my own computer for the first time, and it was quite exhilarating. The feeling i got from turning it on for the first time and watching it work instead of burst into flames is a feeling so unique and powerful that I suspect I won't feel it again until I have my first child. Or until I build another computer. Although the second time won't be quite as laborious or thrilling. Same with the second child I suspect. At least it runs Starcraft 2 on Ultra. Woo!
-phil


There is nothing wrong with your computer. The comic is a bit fuzzy atm but hopefully we can scan in some clarity by the weekend. If not...uhh...later.
Yeah who wants to have children? You can't even install Starcraft on them!
_Bryan

I still do not condone the photography method.

-phil

October 13th

Julia Roberts is evil.

SC2 is out

Doesn't everyone make that sound when they flex? Played SC2 yet?
_Bryan

One more week!

Son do you know what I'm stoppin you fo'? Whered the youtube link go
_Bryan

7 days bitches! I've played Starcraft for a grand total of 30 minutes, all of which were during the last week. Not sure how I completely missed the boat, but I'm finally ready to hop aboard after 12 years. Now I just need to become Korean so I can be good at the game.

-phil

Where's the beef?

ITS THE MOORS NOT THE MOOPS. Man it was coming out!
_Bryan




*shrug*

in lieu of a comic, here's a poorly written review of "Toy Story 3" by a crazy guy:

http://www.nypress.com/article-21357-bored-game.html

Some people say Armond White is just a contrarian, but others defend him as being really really oddly opinionated. It's hard to say, I've only read a few of his reviews. He hates pretty much everything it seems, though he had a lot to say about how "Jonah Hex" was better than Toy Story 3. Because of course they're so similar. He doesn't like "Up," which I wasn't a huge fan of either, but I loved Toy Story 3 and this review sucks. Based on this review I'd say he's payed to write absurdly negative reviews of popular movies to draw attention, and when he can't find anything legitimate to criticize, he starts making things up. It would be hard to prove he didn't just review the movie based on a poorly written wikipedia plot summary based on what he writes here. Now it's true most of his reviews aren't quite so batshit retarded, but maybe this is a sign that he's really starting to lose it. Or that Toy Story 3 was so fucking amazing that he had no clue how to write a scathing review of it so his brain started freaking out and he pooped that out onto the page. Only time will tell.

-phil

p.s. it would be so much easier to take this guy seriously as nothing more than an intelligent, strongly opinionated critic if it weren't for the fact that he seems to unequivocally hate EVERY movie that is praised and then love only movies that are panned. The math doesn't work out. He would HAVE to agree at some point. The sheer symmetry of numbers points to foul play. Just calling 'em like I sees 'em.

NINENINEINEINIENEINEINEI

Dammit Lebron. Way to let down basically everyone.
_Bryan

Tyyyypooooosssss!!!!

-phil

Let's do the time warp!

So the plan is to wait for Bryan to finish the comic and then use a time machine to warp it back to today. So I guess the fact that it's not posted yet means it's not done. Or something. Makes perfect sense. To bide our time, I present a truly horrifyingly creepy image. I'm not sure where it came from or why it was created, but my god is it frightening. I hope nobody ever tries to cosplay as this. I would have to kill them. Or myself.

-phil

Huit

If you haven't already go download the demo for Crackdown 2! Do it! Then let's play!
_Bryan

Yeah apparently there's a glitch for infinite time. Sweetness. Also it seems "The Last Airbender" defied my wildest expectations for sucking. I knew it would be bad, hoped it would be decent, and it looks like it's just plain shit. 07% on Rotten Tomatoes last time I checked. I'll look tomorrow and see if I can find some niche reviewers who aren't mainstream theater critics but the outlook is not good. If one person can give me a reason why this movie is worth seeing I'll give it a shot, but otherwise I think I'm calling it. Damn you M. Night!!!!!

-phil

Numero Sept

Hand drawn for your immense pleasure. We hope. Also apparently the new xbox overheats as much as the old one. Thoughts?
_Bryan

If only my real detective outfit made me look so jacked...

-phil

Wtf?

Where's the strip? Apparently it's up to me to provide visual stimulation this week. So check this shit out! Apparently someone brought a homemade keyblade to Disneyland and had Mickey pose with it. Amazing. Seems pretty hard to top. Just sayin...

-phil

Lebron's new #6

a
"and some people call them "button downs" is what he's saying. WAY too pooped to go back an fix/reconvert it all over again.
_Bryan

that's the spirit! always willing to go the extra mile for art...

-phil

Laziness is its own reward
_Bryan

Wakka wakka

Man I'm hungry...
_Bryan

Bryan was right. I do like this comic quite a bit. And I still suck at Street Fighter. Learning it has been a difficult battle, though not as difficult as being strapped to a wall and having chainsaws thrown at you.

-phil

The Mystery of the Missing Post

Well I'm back from Russia! Dunno what happened to yesterday's post, since I haven't talked to B in a while. Hopefully he's alive and well and not embroiled in a cat-and-mouse game with some shadowy organization that wants to use/kill him. That happens to him a lot these days. Oh well, I'm sure we'll have something up ASAP.

-phil

Whole new meaning to Daddy Issues.

So Phil told me he was going to stay in Russia and marry a cosmonaut.
_Bryan

In Mother Russia

So here's you fancy new comic courtesy of a little altercation between the artist and the writer. To spare you the details our writer made a completely stupid request which was promptly vetoed but the veto was promptly vetoed as well. Then the words, "Make it work," were uncouthly uttered and thus spawns this filler strip. The real strip to follow by Thurs.
_Bryan

To be fair, I did not make a stupid request. I merely wrote a panel in which the character's emotion changed drastically in the same panel. Yes this is impossible to draw, hence the blurry abomination and cryptic message I can only assume is directed at me. So it was a mistake, one that would've been instantly fixed had Bryan and I been in the same room, let alone the same city or state. Things being what they are, however, meant that these conflicts did not come to light until late last night. The fix took all of ten seconds. These are the trials and tribulations of long distance artistic relationships. Also I'm in Russia for the week. Speaking of even longer than usual distances.

-phil

p.s. apparently logging on to blogger in Russia means that all the menu options are automatically set to Cyrillic. f-ed up shit man.



Yeah I was only kidding around and forgot to explain the real reason to this strip because I was drunk. Story of my life.
_Bryan

Breaking News!

So this may or may not have been current news when it was conceived. Who can say what happened when? By the time you read this it will be so far in the past anyways that this comic might as well have been made seconds after the story broke. So let's pretend that's what happened. Yeah up-to-the-second news jokes may not be what we should focus on, but I stand by my theory that the longer ago something happened long the less noticeable dated commentary becomes. So don't read this for another year and I wager you'll piss yourself laughing.

Style changes are creeping in, but I can't comment too extensively on that, since I am not the drawing guy person. Someday the profession will be legitimately recognized with a title, but until then DGP will have to suffice as an abbreviation. Or art slave. I'm good with either. Anyways I'll leave it to the DGP to speak on that if he wishes.

-phil



I think the title of "Batman" would suffice. "Spiderman" would also work.

_Bryan

Hump Day

Can't speak for both of us but I'd be good with just the humping.
http://fredwilson.fm/#showplaylist=true&showplaylistbutton=true&autoplay=true&showpop=false&popup=true&queuenumber=1

_Bryan

One Week Anniversary Spectacular!!!!

Hard to believe it's been a week already! Looking back on the what's happened in the past 168 hours there's a lot to be proud of and a lot that we shall never speak of again... mostly the crisco-covered orgies. *shudder*

In retrospect starting with comics about The Ultimate probably wasn't the best idea since it isn't a great way for us to show off our skills right off the bat. However these were the first ideas that got us creating so it seems fitting in a sense to start the blog with the start of our working together. There was some debate about whether or not to skip this one altogether but some kind of surprise night shift on the part of the art slave caused the replacement comic to languish in an unfinished state. Alas, until next week when it will be even less relevant!

Also I think updating every Wednesday works. Something to look forward on hump day, besides, you know, the humping.

-phil p.

Comic the first!

Okay, so this is the "debut" of a webcomic my art slave and I have been working on for a couple of weeks now. I do the writing and he does the drawing. It's called Dude-les because we're dudes (surprise) and because there's no established theme or coherent universe to speak of. In the most epic sense, it's a representation of two young men who struggle against the chaos of young adulthood by resorting to depraved acts of sexual desperation to pay the rent, and who also are have some bizarre and potentially humors yarns to weave in the oldest and noblest form of storytelling. Pretty sure Homer was a webcomic guy before he became a poet [citation needed]. In the simplest sense, it's two guys who have always wanted to make a comic finally doing it. We've been talking about this shit since high school but we didn't actually do anything until two weeks ago so I presume our talents will have aged like a fine wine. Fingers crossed. Things may start off slow but we promise to find our groove ASAP.

-phil p.

P.S. The Ultimate is an amazing hero whose deeds and legends cannot be contained in a mere 4 frames. Expect his dildo-bladed greatness to return many a time.

test

testing the blogggg!